This sweet, compact memoir blends a touching account of Smith’s friendship with Johnny Carson—called John in private life—with some warm advice for living “a beautiful life,” some drawn from the example of Carson’s off-camera humility, graciousness, and philanthropy. After finding tremendous success at a small software company that soon was booming, Smith bought a home in Malibu in 1985, just four houses down from Carson, who would retire from The Tonight Show in 1992.

Smith’s first encounter with Carson, who defined the very role of talk-show host, came at a star studded dinner where the host, aware of Carson’s in-person shyness and Smith’s “knack for making people feel comfortable,” sat the two together. They hit it off as the talk turned to tennis. Smith offered Carson a standing invitation to use his court, and Carson called for a match the next morning.

Despite his $25 million salary, the Carson who emerges in Smith’s anecdotes of dinners, quips, yacht trips, and everyday interactions is thoughtful, at times reserved, a caring and generous friend as comfortable at diners as he is at Spago and La Scala. “John” let few get close to him—“For some reason, people don’t always act like themselves when I’m around,” he says in one poignant moment—but was “a stand-up guy” who flew to Nebraska to surprise one of his high school teachers on her 90th birthday.

Smith’s intimate insights and brisk storytelling will move readers who miss Carson’s presence in their lives; some stories are gently ribald, but all are written with love, even the showstopper about drinking too much and hitching a ride home with the sheriff.

Smith’s breezy, episodic storytelling eschews analysis in favor of fond memories and moments of connection. As Smith covers the three times he saw Carson cry, what shines through is the feeling of easy trust and fellowship the two shared. Throughout, Smith models the behavior and demeanor it takes to put the guarded and famous at ease, as he shares other surprising encounters with presidents, singers, Hollywood stars, and more.